This is a very odd period of my life. Everything is changing and I’m not entirely sure whether it’s what I want, whether it’s what I like.
On one hand, I’m glad to have my future a bit clearer, knowing where I’m going to spend (at least) next year of my life. But on the other hand, it means leaving my friends behind for a great amount of time and I have no idea how am I going to handle it. It’s surely going to be a lonely period from the beginning, knowing that I won’t get to see them for a year, or so. Yet, I’m looking forward to it, because there’s a lot of mess I’m about to leave behind (unsolved relationships, forming relationships and those relationships I’d rather forget about all together).
Anyway, what I’m trying to say is, that yesterday I got to taste the first part of my goodbyes. Two of my friends (one of whom I used to like more than a friend) left Bratislava and headed to London, where they’re going to spend this summer, trying to find a job. This means that I’m not going to see them for the rest of summer, because my visa is only valid from 27th August and also that I’m not going to see them for the rest of the year. This is not a pleasant thought, you know.
I’ve cried my eyes out, but I do hope it’s all for the best. I mean, there surely must be some greater good, right? Nothing happens without a reason. And if this is meant to make me stronger – in a way, then I might as well clinch my fists and carry on…
One more thing which is quite scary is that I might get engaged very soon. Early marriage is not exactly on my to-do list. In fact, I’d rather avoid getting married at any age (well, maybe when I’m in my very late 20’s…). I suppose it’s because I can clearly see how much damage can be done by this act, which is supposed to be an ultimate act of love. It’s disappointing and clearly disencouraging.
What do I do now? I have no idea. I’d rather skip the whole summer chapter of this shitty novel and open the book somewhere in the middle, or at least a few pages after this ridiculously slow summer chapter…
